When it comes to grief and loss, it’s painful, and there is actually no one easy answer. There are however constructive strategies to cope, lessen the pain and move forward.
Humans have a natural response to letting go, it's an emotional process called grief.
Losses can be big and small and come in all shapes and forms. For example, we can say goodbye to a person, as much as we can say goodbye to things or ideas like a home, a job, a country, a culture, a dream, or a business venture or an inanimate object, such as a much-loved pair of shoes. The degree of the loss and its intensity varies as does it’s lasting effects. Are there more things you can think about that are hard to let go of?
We all grieve at some point in our life. There is no escaping it. The grieving process is nature's way of healing a wound and it's also nature's way of telling us that we need to retrieve some of that love back that we lost through that person, aspiration or object so that we can give it to somebody/something else.
When we grieve we actually lose a part of ourselves. We feel broken, lost and confused and that life is not whole anymore. A common example is when a relationship ends. It hurts so much because we feel a part of us dies.
Since grieving is both a natural process but also unavoidable we have two ways to do this we can either crumble underneath it or find ways to grow through it and move on.
Think about these three things to help you grieve and help your mind do its natural healing:
1. Tune in to what you need.
Grief itself will be guiding you and it will be telling you if you need to sleep more, go out more, cry or even laugh more.
2. Have patience with yourself.
Try not to criticize yourself for the way you feel. It's normal, it's acceptable, it's natural. Don't fight it. And overall don't be critical of yourself or your feelings. It is a bit of a roller-coaster ride and it will be messy.
3. Don't suffer in silence or alone.
Despite grief being natural and very painful, it doesn't mean you need to suffer alone or in silence. Share your experiences and feelings with someone.
In the end, grief changes us all but it's up to you to make those changes healthier and for the better.
By Magdalena Lopez
Psychologist