Are You Feeling Stuck Due To COVID19?

Everyone's experience of COVID 19 is completely different. Some people having been feeling more stress than others especially those who are in isolation and working from home. Our realities have changed with this pandemic and mostly we can all relate to the fact that uncertainty has really turned things upside down from a social, economic, work and psychological point of view.

The one thing that keeps most people anxious is whether this is the new way we are all going to be living life moving forward. Has our past "freedom" been redefined from now on and are restrictions the new way of doing everything from social distancing to dating to job interviews to dining out? Is our optimism slipping?

This psychological phenomena is very similar to grief, in fact we could say that most people may be experiencing this "anxiety and stuckness" as a result of the losses (sense of security, jobs, routine etc) we are experiencing as a society and then individually.

Some people are continuing life as if it isn't happening (denial), others are afraid that life will never be the same and feel down (depression). What we can see is how our ability to be resilient is certainly being tested.

Flattening the curve is our goal as a society but some people are getting fed up and wondering how to continue to stay in isolation and not feel "stuck" in grief or this never ending uncertainty.

If you are stuck in the COVID19 grief cycle you may be experiencing:

a) loss of interest: socially, activities, hobbies or meaningful experiences, all seems monotonous.

b) sense of time and day is scrambled: all your days feel the same. Nothing eventful to write home about. A weekend feels like a weekday. 

c) boredom: Less things to do, given everyday feels like you are just the same thing over and over again. Can't think of anything else and even if you did, refer to point 1 - not interested anymore.

d) deflated about future plans: unsure as to whether to create some travel plans as that may be different from now on. The idea of doing a road trip even locally seems unexciting but more like something to break the monotony.

Ways to navigate the above points:

1.      Talk about it with your friends or family/neighbours. It's important to not assume that this is only happening to you or that you feel unable to express your feelings because it's a burden. Share the load and in the meantime, keep connecting with others

2.      Staying informed is necessary but most of your days should be news free. Focus on other world topics and discuss these. Create other activities that allow you to distinguish weekends from weekdays even for every day of the week.

3.      Try and make use of the time you have at home, given that it's highly likely things will change and soon you will be wishing you could be home working on a rainy day instead of having to step out into the cold. For instance; organise, fix, paint, clean your house and garden.

4.      Dream anyway. Our fantasy allows us to be hopeful and creativity may strike in other ways you didn't expect. Go on the road trip anyway, sometimes we just need to make that initial move and things flow quickly on from there as we remember how much fun we can have with the simple things in life.

Resilience is a must in times like these. Remaining positive when we can and expressing our emotions so we don't feel so alone is a bit step towards becoming unstuck

By Psychologist Magdalena Lopez

About Me: I'm a caring & compassionate Psychologist in Melbourne, helping adults, couples and families in counselling who have anxiety, depression or relationship concerns, live a happier, healthier life. 

Quiz - Is Psychodynamic Therapy For You?

Do this quick quiz to find out:

1. Are you a reflective person who often wonders about how your past has affected you now?

2. Do you want to decide what you talk about in sessions?

3. Are you too busy to do homework and prefer to reflect when you can in between session instead?

4. Are you willing to explore the conflict that cause you stress, pain or difficulty in your life?

5. Would you like to feel comfortable with your therapist, in a supportive space, so that you can discuss deeper thoughts?

6. Would you like to know how your therapist makes sense of the patterns, behaviors, and experiences?

7. Are you interested in understanding the underlying reasons as to why you do what you do?

8. Are you willing to work on yourself over time in order to make sustainable long term changes?

If you answered yes to two or more questions you would likely be rewarded greatly from psychodynamic therapy. Through understanding yourself, your behaviours and your past, comes the ability to overcome difficulties and grow.

By Magdalena Lopez

Psychologist

What are the best ways to deal with grief and loss?

When it comes to grief and loss, it’s painful, and there is actually no one easy answer. There are however constructive strategies to cope, lessen the pain and move forward.

Humans have a natural response to letting go, it's an emotional process called grief.

Losses can be big and small and come in all shapes and forms.  For example, we can say goodbye to a person, as much as we can say goodbye to things or ideas like a home, a job, a country, a culture, a dream, or a business venture or an inanimate object, such as a much-loved pair of shoes. The degree of the loss and its intensity varies as does it’s lasting effects.  Are there more things you can think about that are hard to let go of?

We all grieve at some point in our life.  There is no escaping it.  The grieving process is nature's way of healing a wound and it's also nature's way of telling us that we need to retrieve some of that love back that we lost through that person, aspiration or object so that we can give it to somebody/something else.

When we grieve we actually lose a part of ourselves. We feel broken, lost and confused and that life is not whole anymore. A common example is when a relationship ends. It hurts so much because we feel a part of us dies.

Since grieving is both a natural process but also unavoidable we have two ways to do this we can either crumble underneath it or find ways to grow through it and move on.

Think about these three things to help you grieve and help your mind do its natural healing:

1.   Tune in to what you need. 

Grief itself will be guiding you and it will be telling you if you need to sleep more, go out more, cry or even laugh more.

2.   Have patience with yourself. 

Try not to criticize yourself for the way you feel.  It's normal, it's acceptable, it's natural. Don't fight it.  And overall don't be critical of yourself or your feelings.  It is a bit of a roller-coaster ride and it will be messy.

3.   Don't suffer in silence or alone. 

Despite grief being natural and very painful, it doesn't mean you need to suffer alone or in silence.  Share your experiences and feelings with someone. 

In the end, grief changes us all but it's up to you to make those changes healthier and for the better.

By Magdalena Lopez

Psychologist

How To Cope With Social Isolation During Covid 19

Many countries including Australia have turned to social isolation and social distancing in order to stop the spread of the covid 19 amongst other precautionary behaviors. As social creatures, this is naturally going to produce massive challenges at the hour of being confined to our homes. We face being removed from people we love, losing our freedom and income or jobs which can leave many feeling anxious, frustrated, bored and depressed.

Here are a few things to do that may help during social isolation:

1. Stay in touch - social distancing is not social disconnection. Use this time to call friends and family and those you haven’t spoken to in a while. Our mental health requires a dose of social contact frequently especially in times of stress.

2. Avoid conflict - close proximity to another person round the clock is a gateway to arguments and tension. Times of crisis increase frustration, fear, and irritability so recognise some of these feelings within yourself and perhaps take time out in another part of the house if you think you may end up arguing.

3. Create routine and structure - working from home is not easy for those who aren't used to it, therefore, now is the time to mimic your typical workday so that your day looks like you are going to work in terms of hours, breaks and rest times.

4. Seek support - if you are feeling stress and anxiety, consider speaking to a psychologist so that they may further help in you feel reassured and supported during this time.

You can also access your local GP and obtain a mental health care plan to assist you in obtaining a medicare rebate or contact your private health insurance.

By Psychologist Magdalena Lopez

Are You Feeling Anxious About The Corona Virus?

Everyone is talking about the coronavirus as this new pandemic spreads and the whole world watches attentively at the range of effects from simple symptoms to deaths. Unfortunately, as the world is changing and evolving with this virus, so is the rate of mass hysteria that is accompanying it. Without underestimating the life-threatening potential of this virus, it is also important to notice how the world has created an extraordinary level of panic and irrationality that is making things ten times worse.

It's very easy now to be overwhelmed by all the information that is being published, not to mention the added rumors and speculations that heighten these stories, at home, work, in public, amongst friends, etc.

So here is the thing, there are 2 levels of difficulty happening right now, the virus and the frenzy.  What we do know is that the virus and its effects are being managed daily by the government and medical institutions. However, the frenzy is out of control.

The baseline solution starts with asking yourself whether if you want to be part of the facts or entertain yourself in the world of frenzy. The latter will definitely cause you anxiety, uncertainty, doubt, mistrust, confusion, and loss of perspective. You might end up being one of those people buying 48 rolls of toilet paper without a really good explanation.

Here are a few quick tips on how to manage anxiety whilst keeping healthy and safe:

1. Know the FACTS. the government has made real efforts to publish on their website all the information that the public needs to know. They have the best professionals working round the clock to help, so read this information and learn it well.

*Federal Government https://www.health.gov.au/      

*State Government  https://www.dhhs.vic.gov.au/coronavirus-covid-19-transmission-reduction-measures

They have different areas of responsibility and the resources they control, so they have separate but aligned responses. 

2. Avoid news, social media sensationalization and all other sources of gossip that aren't from government sources. Unfortunately, the may misrepresent the facts leading to a very quick game of speculations, and the typical "they are saying now that..." which creates more anxiety with the public.

If you need reassurance, stick to the government pages.  https://www.facebook.com/healthgovau

3. Keep living your life! Life has not stopped because the world has a pandemic. There have been many pandemics since the beginning of time. We have facts, try and adhere to them within reason and remember to continue going about life. We need to adjust to restrictions creatively.

4. Take this time out for more self-care, compassion and healthy living. Social distancing does NOT mean becoming a hermit or living in total isolation unless you are sick or quarantined. If you are at risk, take the precautions necessary. If you don't know if you are at risk, speak to your doctor so you know what to do but don't disconnect from life and others. 

5. Learn to live sparingly and practice compassion. Stop hoarding! Others in need are getting affected and it's perpetuating a toxic cycle of selfishness and greed that is not substantiated by this pandemic.

Choose facts over frenzy to remain calm. 

If you are struggling, please reach out to a psychologist to keep the communication open about your anxiety. 

By Psychologist Magdalena Lopez

St Kilda Road Psychology

About Me: I'm a caring & compassionate Psychologist in Melbourne, helping adults, couples and families in counselling who have anxiety, depression or relationship concerns, live a happier, healthier life. 

What is Depression

Have you felt sad, empty and tearful for long periods of time?

Or inexplicably angry and irritable or frustrated over small things .....?

What about feeling like you've lost pleasure in most things and just want to be alone?

Most people have a rough idea of what depression is and have possibly even experienced it at some point in their lives. Feeling low, sad down in the dumps with no motivation. Sometimes it can leave little will to live. It is also known as The black dog - for the same reason that it's this dark constant companion that can be unpredictable, sinister, overwhelming and not always seen, perhaps even feared. If any of you reading this article have ever felt depressed or had depression, you may recognise how well the metaphor actually fits.

Luckily, these days we are much more aware of depression as an important mental health issue, that if not treated can result in the tragic loss of loved ones to suicide.

But what exactly is depression? It's a huge question to answer, with so many layers to it. I am going to propose a general mental health description which we can all understand. A definition of Depression that I personally like because I think it makes the most sense. " A mental health disorder characterised by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life" Mayo Clinic.

Although this is just a simple statement, it really does cover the basics for what we all can relate to and consider when it comes to understanding depression. The catch is that it lacks a tonne of information that defines more accurately all the "types" of depression we know today. There are too many, and to know which "one" you might have perhaps is best left to trained professionals such as Psychologists.

What we do know aside from this definition is that it truely is a dark place to be in mentally, emotionally, socially, and even physically. It's painful not just to the person suffering but to friends and family that don't know how to help and feel incapable of making you feel better. What causes it?

The good news is that there is help and treatment for depression no matter what 'type' you may have. Recognising symptoms is the first step, followed by reaching out to a qualified psychologist to start the process will bring some relief and hope which already is an improvement.

Some signs of depression are: low - flat - isolated - helplessness - hopelessness - amotivated - restless sleep -negative thoughts - appetite - crying a lot

Psychodynamic therapy treats depression by getting to the root cause. There are many reasons depression comes on board for an individual, perhaps it's time you speak to a psychologist about what you are feeling and discover ways that together you can overcome depression and move forward.

By Psychologist Magdalena Lopez

About Me: I'm a caring & compassionate Psychologist in Melbourne, helping adults, couples and families in counselling who have anxiety, depression or relationship concerns, live a happier, healthier life. 

The Five Core Benefits of Psychodynamic Counselling

One of the most interesting things about working with Psychodynamic counselling is that it provides several benefits both in the short term and across time. Here are a few points to consider:

1.       Relief of symptoms and distress. In some cases almost instantly.

Engaging in therapy with a caring and compassionate therapist allows people to talk freely and openly about whatever is on their mind without judgment. Relief can be felt almost instantly when you embark on this journey. The realisation that you are starting to take charge and become pro-active about your mental health is empowering and brings hope.

2.       Feeling immediately supported, understood and accepted.

Friends and family are often helpful when it comes to trying to resolve everyday concerns, however, they don't have the technical tools that a qualified psychologist has in order to assist further.

Talking to a warm, calm and experienced psychologist can be a very reassuring experience. There are no expectations, nor homework to do with this style of therapy, just your wish to come in, tell your story and have an expert listen in ways that reduce your feelings of shame, pain and isolation.

3.       Allows the creation of new perspectives that haven't been previously considered.

Self-awareness begins to grow steadily as you explore different psychological layers about yourself throughout therapy. New perspectives become apparent and at the same time, your anxieties start to release alongside other symptoms.

Being able to identify your unconscious patterns (to mention a few: avoidance, people pleasing, overcompensating)  and gain a deeper understanding to what is triggering them, allows you to unlock unhelpful behaviours, and achieve clearer direction in your life.

4.       It continues to provide effectiveness across time even after the therapeutic process has come to an end.

The wonderful thing about psychotherapy is the lasting effects it has in each individual long after therapy has ended.

Creating fresh understandings and connections within yourself with the help of therapy has an enormous effect on the brain. Several studies have already been able to capture these physiological changes. (see article) therefore, psychotherapy helps you learn how to control and manage situations more effectively well after therapy has concluded.

 

5.       Increase in inner resources and coping tools.

Finally, insight or your self awareness is heightened in this process. Alongside it, comes the ability to connect better with others, and communicate your thoughts and feelings, in a more effective way. This change becomes second nature over time. Therapy progressively helps you  improve your self esteem, enjoy more satisfyingrelationships, increase your empathy and help you learn a far more useful ability to tackle difficulties in life more effectively and independently. It's worth it.

by Psychologist Magdalena Lopez

About Me: I'm a caring & compassionate Psychologist in Melbourne, helping adults, couples and families in counselling who have anxiety, depression or relationship concerns, live a happier, healthier life. 

This blog is for informational and educational purposes only.  The information provided should not be used as a replacement for psychological assessment and treatment. There is no substitute for consultation with a qualified mental health specialist, or even a physician, who would be the best to evaluate and advise based on a careful, considered evaluation of all pertinent facts. Magdalena Lopez Psychology, shall have no liability for claims by, or damages of any kind whatsoever to users of this website. This website is not an emergency services resource, therefore if you are in immediate assistance, please dial 000 for emergency services or call Lifeline on 13 11 14. Your use of this website constitutes your agreement to the above disclaimer.

Four Signs Your Anxiety is Getting the Better of You

We've all experienced some level of anxiety at one point or another in life. It's uncomfortable and it eventually passes so we don't give it any more thought but when it becomes more frequent and intense, or it's simply not going away, there's a sense that something is not quite right.

Let's explore some of the things most people can relate to at the hour of noticing this level of anxiety and why it's a good idea to seek an experienced Psychologist for help.

1. When it is creating  distress in your life and it's starting to make you feel down

Thoughts are becoming scattered, going round in circles, it may even be hard to focus at times. Perhaps it feels like you are losing some control and that is starting to create an extra level of worry.

Unfortunately, it may be impacting either work, your relationships or study. Maybe your sleep is getting interrupted which means the next day, functioning at an optimal level just becomes slightly harder.

All this could create physical tension, maybe heart palpitations or even an intense sense of dread or panic without any explanation at all.

Panic can feel very overwhelming and scary experience. Sometimes people end up feeling flat or down after such high levels of anxiety, wanting to isolate, withdraw or avoid certain people (tasks or events). There is a risk depression may be on its way too.

2. Nothing you have done or are doing is making it go away

So you've spoken to your family and friends and they have tried to say everything that might help but it may only give you temporary relief. You've tried engaging in some distraction, exercise and other healthy habits only to realise something is still there.

Talking to your circle of people is helpful in the beginning but after a period of time, it may start to become repetitive and may create some discomfort in the relationship.  It's a clear sign that their ability to help is now limited when your loved ones suggest professional support is your best option.

3. You are self medicating or using over-reliant coping mechanisms

It may be alcohol, party drugs, some gambling, pornography  or over relying on others, perhaps engaging in a healthy activities (such as exercise) but over doing it. All in hope of quietening the anxiety or distracting yourself enough to not notice it.

Unfortunately, the catch twenty two is that all these efforts seem to provide a helpful distraction for a while, but in the end, they are harmful to yourself mentally and physically. These unhealthy coping mechanisms could impact the relationships you have with others around you.

4. People you know are suggesting that you reach out to a professional for help

Suggesting you speak to a qualified professional who can help is another way others can support you. It's not easy to watch someone you care for suffer emotionally, therefore it is the best advice they can give you.  It keeps your relationships healthy and you get to work on resolving your concerns in a confidential, safe and professional manner. Perhaps it's time to be proactive and seek the right help with a trained psychologist to start working on what matters the most, your peace of mind.

by Psychologist Magdalena Lopez

About Me: I'm a caring & compassionate Psychologist in Melbourne, helping adults, couples and families in counselling who have anxiety, depression or relationship concerns, live a happier, healthier life. 

What is Psychodynamic Counselling?

This counselling style is known for its ability to target the root cause of symptoms and mental illness. Stemming from Psychoanalysis, it's technically rich and complex but for the purposes of a short blog let me highlight 1 or 2 features.

It is also known as "insight orientated" therapy, and it primarily focuses on unconscious processes that, at times, may cause a person to behave in unhelpful ways.

These unconscious processes, (which are unknown to us), create internal battles between our thoughts and feelings. Akin to a tug-a-war in our minds if you will, between what we desire and what we think we should or should not do.

Unfortunately, we can't always do or get what we want in life, so in order to find a solution, we may end up compromising ourselves in ways that may hinder all the more. The end result might often be the appearance of symptoms, for example, unexplained anxiety or depressed mood, nightmares or even some physical aches and pains that have little or no explanation. Left long enough, these symptoms may develop into more severe mental health issues and consequently, create difficulties in other areas of your life, such as relationships, work issues and a general sense of unhappiness or worry.

Who can benefit from Psychodynamic Therapy

Psychodynamic counselling is used to treat a variety of mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, trauma and personality disorders. It is also helpful for those of you who want to obtain more insight and self-development in your lives.

As a Psychologist, I work with a wide range of complex mental health issues to everyday concerns such as trouble at work, difficulty at home with your partner, feeling you're not where you want to be in life or even struggling with some feelings of sadness, guilt, shame or anger that you can't shake off. For more about this effective counselling style, click here.

Take some time to think about whether having some space to talk about some of your experiences with a Psychologist may be helpful.

by Psychologist Magdalena Lopez

About Me: I'm a caring & compassionate Psychologist in Melbourne, helping adults, couples and families in counselling who have anxiety, depression or relationship concerns, live a happier, healthier life. 

Welcome

After many years of practicing as a Psychologist in Melbourne, I have decided to share a space for people who are interested in reading about deeper psychological perspectives regarding relationships, mental health concerns, and everyday issues mixed in with a spice of culture and language diversity.

I aim to write about a variety of topics in the hope that as a reader you may be able to relate, be curious and reflect on some of these ideas regarding your own life and people around you. Perhaps open up your desire to try therapy.

These blogs will be written from not only a theoretical point of view but also from my experience across the years that many wonderful clients have so graciously given me without knowing (thank you all!).

Through my blog, you may get a sense of my style of work as a therapist. For those of you who would like to understand yourselves intellectually, or your struggles with pain, happiness, self-esteem, and relationships, insightful thinking is the first step towards change.

My work is predominantly psychodynamic whilst encompassing other frameworks such as Cognitive Behavioural Tools, Mindfulness, and Acceptance - Commitment Therapy when needed. Most of my pieces will be more thoughtful in content, (reflecting my psychoanalytic training). However, for those of you that may often just want a quick read, I will also provide some tips.

Thanks for reading and showing curiosity....

Back soon.

by Psychologist Magdalena Lopez

About Me: I'm a caring & compassionate Psychologist in Melbourne, helping adults, couples and families in counselling who have anxiety, depression or relationship concerns, live a happier, healthier life. 

This blog is for informational and educational purposes only.  The information provided should not be used as a replacement for psychological assessment and treatment. There is no substitute for consultation with a qualified mental health specialist, or even a physician, who would be the best to evaluate and advise based on a careful, considered evaluation of all pertinent facts. Magdalena Lopez Psychology, shall have no liability for claims by, or damages of any kind whatsoever to users of this website. This website is not an emergency services resource, therefore if you are in immediate assistance, please dial 000 for emergency services or call Lifeline on 13 11 14. Your use of this website constitutes your agreement to the above disclaimer.

Three Key Ingredients to Effective Psychotherapy

I would like to talk to you about three key ingredients that contribute to effective therapy. These are by no means, the only ingredients that make therapy effective but they are the basic elements in with which to start.

Insight, otherwise known as self-awareness. An ability to understand the relationship between your own past history and the impact it has on current events on your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. It's an internal process, a capacity to recognise something deeper about yourself. This allows you to identify the source of a lot of problems and gives you a chance to develop tools for change. It does require some deeper questioning and exploring of mind. Psychotherapy is built for just that. Even if you may not have much insight, we work together to guide you through the process and towards developing this capability.

Good rapport with the therapist be prepared to be open and engaged with your therapist. Allow for a professional relationship to develop where trust, honesty and mutual respect become a key feature that allows you to discuss all your concerns. You can imagine how difficult it can be if you didn't feel comfortable telling someone your story. Therapists are trained to facilitate this as they understand the array of feelings people can feel such as shame, anger, guilt.

Commitment to therapy  changes don't happen overnight or even in one session. So allow yourself to be patient, create a time where you can dedicate every week for 1hr to just be alone with your thoughts/feelings and your therapist. You deserve it. There aren't any quick fixes in therapy. The mind is a unique space, appreciate it and give it a chance to heal with your therapist.

by Psychologist Magdalena Lopez

About Me: I'm a caring & compassionate Psychologist in Melbourne, helping adults, couples and families in counselling who have anxiety, depression or relationship concerns, live a happier, healthier life.